The Soul

Underneath the flesh resides a heart which leads to a connection of the soul. Some of us search our souls for a lifetime just to find pieces of it that we lost a long the way. The soul and its pieces can be as nomadic as a floating flea market, with people scurrying in the streets, starving to live, to feel, and find purpose. I find myself viewing the world through the eyes of those who just want to be heard and now I want to write about it. I want to write about the beautiful souls I see cowering before me, fearful to come out, because someone, somewhere told them they were not worthy enough. We fear the unknown; we contemplate it and think about it at least once a day, 365 days a year, and we don't know why. We focus on the unknown like there is nothing else. As I observe humanity, I have witnessed many people who describe their fear of death elaborately but not one person has described a fear about not really living while being alive. My perception is that all people are wonderfully flawed beings waiting to let go of something. But there are no directions on how to let go, no road map showing exactly where to go, deep in the soul, and even if there were, perhaps we still wouldn't find what we intended to. People are professional bargainers; we all foolishly bargain with how much time we think we have here, forgetting that love and connection is what it is all about. We forget that new days are a gift; they bring new possibilities and the chance to evolve. When someone tells us, we need to love ourselves first, we call ridiculous and disregard what they've said.  Self-preservation is a helpful tool. Perhaps I say this because I am glutton for self-preservation. I preserve the parts of myself that I do not want to taint. I try to cherish parts of myself and hold onto them but more often than not this means loneliness. I miss the part of me that used to give trust so freely. There was a danger to remaining boundary-less; people take you for granted and hurt you until you become value-less. Boundaries compartmentalize people so the losses make sense and the gains feel good. It is hard not to be a lover when all people were put here to love. Boundaries mean having to tell your heart to pack up and go home where things make sense; home, where uncertainty diminishes and the mask you hid behind crumbles in your hands. Home, where you have no choice but to look in the mirror. That is where the true healing begins; here. A place we have attempted to wonder to for most of our lives. Will we find ourselves there or somewhere else? Is the soul really that nomadic that it can leave us before we have left? We have dreamt of being able to be somewhere else as someone else; where the streets are busy and the neighborhoods are full of people who don't follow their urges to critique each other. Somewhere else can be seen but not touched and even if we could go somewhere else, we would be hoping someone just like us, finds us, and learns to love us. Kindness would roam, war would be no more, and we would exist primarily for solace. Days would be as timeless as the definition of forever. This notion of there being somewhere else makes it hard living here; in this floating flea market, watching people sell their souls, hearing how others have taken pieces of their beauty that they never had a chance to see themselves. The tear stained windows of this world shatter with the sounds of little kids crying, people unnecessarily dying, and love being abandoned as if it were never the core of our existence. The only thing being scratched is the surface but there is depth to every surface. Life has depth that leaves the average lost, tempted, and intrigued. Dream your fondest dreams. Bring your dreams to reality. Finding YOU can change the world; YOUR world.