The Ghost that Never Leaves

You're still here,
lingering in this quiet room.
Making subtle sounds within the silence.
I've wanted nothing more than for you to leave
but it seems memories consume me;
ripped pictures, sentences fading out, broken promises
And the patchwork that hasn't quite healed.
I shove you down into my bottomless soul
I have discarded you time and time again
except you return to pester my beautiful mind.
You saw strengths in me that were not in you
so you chose to contaminate my heart with your cruelty.
I would give anything to forget you
though you've made me such a wise woman.
I thank you instead.
I hope you don't ever have to feel the heartache you caused me;
I pray that I felt it enough for both of our lifetimes.
I truly do hope the karma doesn't come your way.

I've had my fill when it comes to you--
these days and thoughts are counting down.
I am so much cleaner than where you had left me.
You left me for dead.
As much as I want to have peace in my heart for you,
I do not.
I cannot forgive such unkind hands
or believe in such deceitful eyes.
You did not win and neither did I
because now I must live with all you've done;
the unexplainable aftermath of the poisonous venom.

I am still alive.
I am still a lover,
a hopeless romantic one at best
and you need to know,
you didn't take my dreams from me.

-HB