Tell your Story

I tell myself to have peace in my heart on a daily basis and in my heart peace exists but my mind cannot deny its humanity, as unfortunate as that is. I've been here a thousand times before confused and conflicted; here in this house with no doors. I've built these walls, they're strong, stronger than most could imagine. There's still too much that experience has yet to show me. As I wait patiently, I can't help but to sometimes feel trapped between what I do know and what I don't. I am continuously hearing about what "sources" say, they say, "the best teachers are those who were willing to be taught". I have embraced learning enough to thoroughly enjoy it. I don't want to ever stop learning and luckily I don't have to. I have also been pretty good at playing all of the right cards, good at boundaries and maintaining character yet there's still always this notion of "the missing piece"-- a fraction of the self I left somewhere else detached from all that makes a person bitter. This life only makes you one of two people--the fighter or the grapple-er and neither battle is easy. There's no denying humanity because these are the thoughts that fester when you try to. Lately, I've preferred, to be good at humanity instead. Perhaps that is why I became a therapist to begin with because I felt the importance of telling people not to get too discouraged--that if living were easy it would probably be boring because there would be minimal growth and a lot less evolving. Sometimes it is difficult to allow yourself to just let go, to trust in yourself, and what you believe in because your beliefs should be the most significant of all. Accepting who you are before you're able to get anything done is key, save all of those gory details about who you wish you were and how you aren't good enough. You are who you are and there is no one else you should be. Stay true to you. No one will ever be as true to you as you can be to yourself. There's too much in the air waiting to cloud your judgement, be strong enough to see through it all, and weed out those non-supporters. Most importantly, tell your story because somewhere in that story are the things (or happenings, if you will) that make you, you. Allow your story to unfold or continue unfolding. -HB