The Truth Behind Beautiful Colored Leaves

The leaves have begun to change, another season has come and soon will be gone just like the ever-changing years. I am finding my heart fell with the leaves of last year's fall--although the actual act of falling was beautiful, what is rightfully mine hasn't been returned. I've been catching every leaf flying through the air but still there is no sign of the true essence of my being.
The passing of time was supposed to be easier than it has been especially when you are seeking the renewal of one of the most prominent organs there is. I talk a lot about time. I talk even more about being broken-hearted. If there were a record playing it would've spun right off the track by now. Words such as these will lose their power, they will die with the others I've written throughout the years. This isn't misery that I continue to speak of because I am happier than I've ever been. What I speak of is emptiness--an emptiness that fails to subside. I only do a lot of hoping that it will.

When one's heart is broke, you wish for a way to reach inside, cup it safely into your palm directly into someone else's while you whisper, "fix this." You'd rather deal with anything than the revamping of the heart. It is true but a lot of people mask their heartache with anything but the acceptance of what is. I speak of this because I am still in the same SPACE I was years ago, only I've moved other places, pretended I didn't know exactly who I had been becoming, kept face and moved on the best I possibly could. However, nowadays, I love life--I look forward to new days even as I am being haunted by that very same SPACE I continue to dwell in; that vile emptiness that lead me to write this, the ghostly, odd feeling reminding me that I am not the same woman I used to be and I won't ever be her again. I've opened and closed the doors to this feeling only to find it surface again. All I could epiphanize is that I've loved, I love and I'll continue to until the days are no more. You can fall prey to time or you can chose to change with it, despite this uncomfortable space I've been filling, I am choosing the latter.